Tails to Toddlerhood

Oh my it's been a long time since I wrote. Not a whole lot going on, I'm still trying to get things moved around and unpacked from moving in to my mom's house...I feel like I am still not getting anywhere. I'm doing it all by myself basically. Every once and a while my mom helps. I'm 33 weeks pregnant, and shouldn't be doing it all on my own. I don't know what got into me today though. I have done most the dishes, and even rearranged the cupboard to try and get more room for things. This house really needs to get clean before I have this baby, because if not, it's going to look 50 million times worse because I'm going to be busy with a newborn and an almost 3 year old. NO way am I going to be able to do that AND be the only one cleaning.

I'm so tired of doing all alone too...and really tired of being alone. I live with 2 other people, and yet from the time I get up in the morning to about 8 pm (2 hours before I go to bed) I'm alone. It's just me and my 2 year old. My mom has her life, which is fine, but my husband should be here...instead he's hunting. I think it's stupid! I don't get treated like I should. I'm pregnant, carrying HIS child. I am in so much pain but yet can not get any sympathy. It's like I'm supposed to be happy to have this pain, like it's my damn job to carry this child...That I don't deserve to be treated different, or pampered at all. Would it kill him to rub my back? NO! Of course not, but you know what he has to say about my back?? Well, his has been hurting for a long time...WTF?? He's also not carrying an extra 13 pounds out front! HE'S NOT PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD I AM!!! It just pisses me off! I get treated like shit a lot!!

I could go on and on about it all...it will never change though. I have talked to him, and still it's the same. No point in waisting my breath.

That also makes for other things to not go well in the marriage...if you catch my drift...plus he thinks that he can skip straight to the "main" part and not worry that I'm no where close to being ready for it...what ever. It's all about him when it comes to that. I hardly do anything anymore...just lay there. Why should I do anything for him? He can't do simple things for me to make me feel special, why should I do anything for him??

Ok...I'm done bitching...